Whether or not people died, this competition was going to be a win-win for you. Gary Gekko instantly became your best friend when he approached you offering to realize your dream of making Thank God It’s Thirsty Thursdays bar-centric chain a reality if you threw today’s competition. You’ve been offered plenty of friendship deals in the past, and didn't want Dick to find out about your secret deal. Dick is the only person you were hoping would not win the competition, and this was a pretty safe bet because Dick… is a doofus.

You may be asked to say: “Terry, I don’t know what happened to your dumb, Austrian knife. I only borrowed it to cut fruit like a week ago, and I promise I never touched it again.”